MORE BAD NEWS
it made news today
that a woman had broken her fingernail
but this wasn’t just any woman
or any fingernail
this woman had beaten out
everybody else to lay claim
to having the world’s longest finger nails
she’d been growing them
for over thirty years
“thirty fucking years?” I shouted
pounding on the steering wheel
of my jeep as I drove through a light snow.
to hear that her fingernails
were older than me
was somewhat disappointing
like losing a dollar bet
on the super six wheel
I just didn’t like to know
that there were fingernails out there
who had been around longer than me
had seen more
and were wiser in the ways of the world
it was disconcerting
but then, like most of the news today
it was soon overshadowed
by new and more terrible events
like a catastrophic landslide in Indonesia
or a newly discovered cureless viral infection
or the realization that it was February
and rent would be due
a few days earlier than usual
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