MY GOOD FRIEND

MY GOOD FRIEND
there had been some confusion
in the hot tub
as to which guy
was hitting on which girl
and that was when
my good friend, the Big D
stood up buck naked and shouted,
“I WILL KILL YOU ALL!! I WILL BURY
YOUR MUTILATED CARCASSES OUT BACK
AND NOBODY WILL FIND YOU!! EVER!!”
all the girls screamed and jumped up
and the guys did too
even louder than the girls
and then everybody ran
every which way
while my good friend, the Big D
stomped around
swearing blood and death and murder
and all sorts of sick lunacy
the guys and the girls all ran to their car
piled in and locked the door
and as they backed down the driveway
my good friend, the Big D
pounded on the windows and roared,
“I WILL EAT YOUR TITS!! I WILL CUT OFF
YOUR BALLS AND BRING THEM
TO THE DRIVING RANGE!!!
when he fell to the ground
he was nearly run over
and after the carload of people sped off
none of them were ever heard from again
now every time I get drunk
with my good friend, the Big D
I bring up this story
and ask, “where did you actually bury them?”