JUST ONE

just one
the AC blows
while I sit on my bed
and suck at beers
I’m good at this
so very good at doing this
when the temperature tops ninety outside
and the bars don’t interest me
and there are no women
pestering my mind
while I sit around
and suck at these beers
I smile at my contentment
for I used to think I’d never tire
from the bars
and the rampages
the weeklong benders
but here I am
only 29
hiding out on a Tuesday night
while I can hear the music
while I use the pisser
the music coming from the patios
and the screams and whoops
of the nighttime revelers
I snap open another beer
and slam the door shut
content to be sitting back on my bed
wearing only a pair of boxers and a smile
maybe clothes don’t make a man
but a mood sure makes him different
and right now I’m just not in the mood
to do anything
I could blame it on the heat
or my back which has all but healed
I could say I’m getting older
growing up
but it’s not like I won’t go back
it’s not like I’m throwing in the towel
hanging up my belt
it’s not like after I’m a six pack in
I won’t pull on my pants
sneak into a shirt
lick the still stifling air and say,
“fuck it, maybe I’ll go out for one. Just one.”