IT WASN’T EASY
Each morning I’d wake up,
Let the dog out to pee,
Make some toast and coffee,
Maybe slice up an orange.
Then I’d bring my dishes to the sink
Turn on the water to wash them and shout,
“GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN’ PIECE OF SHIT!!”
The water would come out in a small spurt,
Then immediately the pressure would die off,
And after a minute there would just be a trickle.
So with soapy hands I’d spin the knobs again,
Opening the valves further.
This would happen again
Until somewhere down in the depths of the pump,
The pressure decided to wake its ass up and turn on,
And then water would just spray out of the faucet,
Splashing off the dishes and onto me.
“OH!! YOU FUCKIN’ MOTHERFUCKER!!”
By the time the pressure had evened out,
The hot water would have warmed up to scalding,
And soon it’d burn my hands to touch it.
“OW!! GODDAMN IT!! WHAT THE FUCK?!”
Afterwards, sitting on the sofa,
My shirt soaked and my hands burnt, I’d grumble,
“why does everything have to be so fuckin’ hard?”