HOBBIES OF THE DAMNED
When you spent a lot of time alone,
like I did,
you found little tricks to keep busy.
Some people picked up hobbies,
reading books or smoking cigarettes or drinking wine.
I did all of those, too,
but not exclusively.
One of my favorite hobbies,
Especially when house-sitting in Western Australia,
was to take long pisses on the lawn,
waving my dick around wildly,
so that it mimicked the sound
of the sprinkler system,
which used to water the big playing field
at my high school.