A POEM - THEY WILL FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE

THEY WILL FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE
We were at a rest stop.
I couldn’t distinguish his accent.
Australian or English but he’d
Been traveling for a while.
“man,” he said to me. “this trip,
This trip isn’t about diving, no.
I go to the Philippines once a year
To do all my diving. No, this trip,
This one, for me, is about women.”
“oh, yeah?” I asked, looking at him.
He had a mullet of dirty hair that
Was beginning to bald on top.
His skin was tanned and worn like leather,
And it was hard to tear my eyes away
From the beak he had on his face.
“yeah,” he said, enthusiastically.
“I’ve had twelve girlfriends,
And I’m not bullshitting you.
Twelve girlfriends since I’ve been
Here in southeat Asia.”
“no shit, huh?”
“Yeah!” he shrieked, then gave
A good suck on his cigarette.
“I mean, no women want to even know me
Back home. THEY RUN A MILE
when they see me coming!”
I laughed. I’d probably run a mile too,
If I was a woman.
“I mean, I don’t like to lie to ‘em,
But you have to, you know?
You gotta say, ‘oh, I’ll be coming back,
I promise. I promise.’
They all make you promise.”
I nodded.
“or else they’ll eat you alive.
If you don’t tell them you’ll be back,
They’ll fucking eat you alive!”
He nudged me with his elbow
And his eyes were bulging out of his face
And he lowered his voice and said,
“but, to be honest. I like that.
It’s nice to feel wanted. It’s nice
To know that they’d eat me alive, ho ho!”