Wednesday, January 9, 2008


I’d gone out drinking one night
With Peter.
A 74 year old Brit who’d been
Teaching English in Istanbul
For more than a decade.
He was a Muslim and I was curious
About this religion
So I asked him,
“so, peter, how’d you come to be a Muslim?”
He avoided the subject for a while
But then after a few more times
He responded with,
“well, hell! When I was your age, when
I was twenty – two years old, I had this
Erection that would not go away! I tell you!
It would not go away! I didn’t know what to do!
I prayed in the night to Jesus Christ, I
Begged for help from doctors, and I did anything
I could to just go about life like any other
Normal man, but I couldn’t! I had this erection!
This erection, this hardness in my penis
That would not leave me! And so I began to read
All the holy books I could find,
Anything I could come across,
And finally I found the Koran!”
He left off there, dreamily recalling the moment,
until I prodded him.
“and then…?”
“well, I tell you! There was nothing
In the Koran that I could disagree with!
Nothing! It all seemed true, and it all still does!”
I squinted my eyes to see if he was just pulling
One big bluff on my gullible ass.
But he had since gone into a state of reverie,
Until I smirked and said,
“so, in a way, your dick led you to Allah?”
He turned to me and sneered and wanted
To kill me but maybe he saw that I had a point,
However misled and misunderstood.
“aw, Peter, c’mon. I’m just playing around,”
I said. “let’s go get another drink.”

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