A POEM - A MAN OF MANY DICKS

A MAN OF MANY DICKS
by JACK TOM
I saw him later that day and he said to me,
"I went in to get a traditional bamboo tattoo. I showed the tattooist what I wanted: two geckos, one on each calf. We negotiated a few minutes and reached a price and the tattooist motioned for me to lie down onto my stomach on the sofa provided. I did so and after setting up, the tattooist started.”
“and?”
“a few minutes in, things began to get weird.”
“what do you mean?” I asked him.
“well, as I was lying there, getting inked, I noticed the guy’s keychain on the floor.”
“yeah? So?”
“well, attached to his keychain was an assortment of large and small carved dicks.”
“what?”
“yeah. Some were made of wood. Some of stone. But, very detailed. Just dicks.”
“that is weird, I guess. Who has a keychain full of dicks?”
“well, at first I thought it odd, but I figured what the hell. But it gets much worse. On his desk were more carved dicks and along with the pens in a pen holder, there were more dicks sticking out. Wooden, soapstone, ivory, plastic...”
“so, the guy loves dicks, huh?”
“then I looked over at the wall and in plain view was a big portrait of a dick, done with pen and ink. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it earlier. So I looked back at the desk, and on every piece of paper was a drawing of a dick.”
“fuckin’ A.”
“my heart began to beat and I started to sweat. Not from the pain of the bamboo and the blade jabbing me, but from this terrible premonition. And just as I arched my back and craned my neck to see the back of my leg, the tattooist began to giggle as he poked away. And lo and behold, there on my calf was a tattoo of a dick.”
“aw, man. So what did you do?”
“what could I do? I let him do another one on my other leg.”