A POEM - STOP EATING AND BE SOMEBODY!

STOP EATING AND BE SOMEBODY
“yeah,” he said, sauntering into the room,
As though we were mid-conversation,
Although my headphones were on,
And I was doing my best not to be near him,
For want of slapping his ugly Kansas face.
“they just eat and eat and eat. I mean,
I used to have no problem with them eating so much,
And all the time...”
He kept his gaze on me,
Waiting for a response.
He pulled a chair from the table at which I was
Doing my daily writing.
Finally I nodded, just to get it over with.
“but the thing is, when they’re not eating,
All they do is talk about eating. Shit!
They even talk about eating while they’re eating!”
I removed my headphones and took a deep breath,
A very deep breath,
The kind that said,
“I don’t like you being here.
Go away and stop bothering me.”
“hey,” I said calmly. “it’s just their culture.
If you plan on sticking around this part of the world,
You better get used to people eating all the time,
And talking about eating all the time, ‘cause as you’ve said, that’s what they do.”
I went to put my headphones back on, but he persisted.
“but man, they ruined my dreams! I used to have dreams, you know?!”
He was shouting much louder than he needed to,
As I was only across the table in a quiet kitchen.
“what the hell are you talking about, ruining dreams?”
The idea sounded pretty funny,
so I thought I’d investigate.
“all their talk about food!
They just eat and talk about eating,
And I stopped being able to think about anything else, too. I started thinking about eating and food,
All the time. That’s all I could do.”
“well, good,” I said, looking him up and down.
“you’re probably better off
With some more meat on your bones.
Hell, you’re almost as skinny as me.”
“no, no! man, you don’t understand.
I used to have dreams. I wanted to be somebody!
I wanted to do things in life!
I was gonna become a techie in Hollywood!
I wanted to start a huge construction company
And make millions of dollars.
I was gonna make it big!
Don’t you understand that?”
Apparently I didn’t.
“so what the fuck do you care about who’s eating,
And what these people are talking about?
How the hell is that stopping you-“ I chuckled,
Rephrasing my question, turning it into a spiteful
Little quip.
“if that’s stopping you from realizing your dreams,
Man, you were never gonna make them happen anyway,”
I said this last line, beginning to laugh harder.
He turned red and puffed out his cheeks,
His Kansas pimples looking about to explode.
I just laughed bigger and louder
until I was keeled over on my chair
slapping my knees and stomping my feet.
“ahhhh hahahaha! Hee heee heeeee! Oh, ho ho ho!”
My eyes began to tear up as they always did
When I had a bout of good laughter.
“ah, ho ho ho! You were gonna be something!
Sure you were! Hee hee hee! I was too!” I screamed.
“we were all gonna be something big, hoo hooo,
until we came out here,
And had to endure all this eating,
And all their talking about eating, ha ha ha!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“I’m fuckin’ serious, man! Fuck you!”
I rolled off my chair and began pounding the floor,
Crawling around on my hands and knees,
Wondering who this fuckin’ idiot madman was,
And how he’d come to be living in Singapore.
I regained my composure and howled,
“then get the fuck outta here!”
And looking at him sideways, between humongous giggles,
“go back to Kansas and be something, oh ho ho!
Stop eating, and be somebody! Hee hee ha!”