JUST HOW CHEAP HAD I BECOME?
One day, while squatting over a dirty toilet
Which had no seat, I realized how cheap I’d become.
I knew I was cheap before I’d left,
But this new cheapness was madness.
I’d finished up with my shit
And was unrolling toilet paper to wipe my ass.
I was counting the squares, one, two, three...
And at eight or nine I’d stop,
Unpeel the two sides from one another
To make it a thicker mass,
And go on with wiping my ass.
Of course it took a couple wipes,
Because my stomach wasn’t in perfect order,
All that hot sauce to kill the germs in the food,
Never mind the water I was drinking from the tap,
In a city with a population of nearly 10 million,
where only 3% of the households
Were connected to the main sewer system.
But after my third wipe I stopped,
Looked at the roll in my hand,
And considered how it had only cost me 22 cents.
And there I was, perched over my filth,
Counting out sheets which might have cost,
If really breaking it down,
Less than a tenth of a cent each.
“jesus!” I shouted,
My voice booming through the open doorway into my room, then throughout the entire hotel.
“I gotta get the hell outta here!”