NEVER HAD HER

she texted me
IM DRINKING WANT TO JOIN ME

and what can you ever say to that?

she was too drunk to drive
so I got into my jeep
picked her up and brought her back to my place
where the heat and electricity were
still working
despite the storm.

we sat in the living room for hours
until maybe 3 AM
she, with her flask of whiskey
me, nursing beers.

we talked about writing
and newspapers
casual sex
and ex girlfriends.

we talked about the days on Edgewood Drive
when she hated me
because when I came over to hang out
with my buddy, her housemate
I’d come blasting through the door
shouting and laughing
and we’d ravage the fridge
trash the place
and go back out into the night
shouting and laughing.

we talked about an old friend
who now and then
would try to kill himself
and we wondered if he’d since succeeded.

we talked about everything.

and after we were finished
she walked home
and I laid down in my bed
closed my eyes
knowing sleep was either
days or a bottle away
and my stomach wouldn’t take the liquor.

so I just remained there in bed
thinking about our conversations
about our past.

about her.

thinking about how maybe she was the one
who got away

even though I never had her
to begin with

UPDATE!!!

Wow.
Life is one motherfucker sometimes.
Due to an insanely busy month,
full of open mics,
a poetry festival,
work work work,
birthday parties and birthday bar-skip-and-hops
and a testy computer
with even more fickle internet,
the posts have been slow.
but do not fear, dear readers!
I have a few dump truck loads of writing to update
and as I've had another close call
with losing work from a crashing computer,
I think I am going to start uploading the poems
as they come out,
instead of waiting my usual month or so.

So, here we go...

Also, thinking about putting together another chapbook.
Any comments on the last one
are welcome and appreciated.

Thanks, Jackson

BEST BY

on the counter
of the house
in which I am a visitor
there is a canister of pepper spray
and on the side
it says:

BEST BY 12/13

I read this statement
this brief warning
and feel the floor tremble
below my feet

feel the whole world
yawn

as the great blob of humanity
nudges itself
just a little closer
to extinction

by its own stupidity

INTERNET JUNKIE

something was wrong with the internet
this morning
so, as is normal at these times
I went into a wild rage
punching my desk
the ceiling
kicking the walls

smashed an umbrella against the floor
then threw it across the room

grasped my computer
picked it up
set it back down again
stormed into the other room

anything I could do
to avoid putting my fist through the screen
to avoid doing that again

(a third time, actually)

went downstairs
made a cup of green tea to relax
get my mind off things

came back
and tried the web browser again
no luck
Safari, my ass
I can’t even get online
never mind go anyplace exotic

in the top right corner
the Airport icon says I have a full signal

but when I click refresh on the page
the message that loads tells a different story
like two kids
in separate rooms
explaining why the family cat
is covered in paint

so I yell and swear at the computer for a while
and it just stares dumbly back at me
probably laughing to itself
in its electronic way

sending signals out to the other computers
the other robots around the world:

I think we’re nearly there, boys
it didn’t take long to get these humans hooked
turn them into a big planet
full of internet junkies

NEANDERTHAL

some people wear flip flops
others don high heels
some squeeze their feet
in leather dress shoes
combat boots
or Nike Airs

whatever you wear
I say, walk like you’re barefoot
and act like you’re naked

like you’re the first human
walking out of the dark cave of existence
into the light of modern times

why, you may wonder?

it’s just another way
to manage what others expect from you

a way to get people to leave you alone

TOO MUCH

at the check out
in Wal-Mart
today
I had the idea
that I’d like to buy some gum

it’s nice to have an idea
and then be able to realize that idea
immediately
instant gratification
and for not very much money, either

but as soon as I had the thought
and looked over the shelf
I found myself lost
with how many options there were

some gum came in little squares
others in long sticks
some had crunchy shells
some soft

there were packs of 12 pieces
and others of 14
some even contained 16
(strange how there were no packs
with odd numbers of pieces?)

all told
I counted over fifty varieties
of chewing gum

enough for each state in this country
to have their own flavor
enough for a different pack
for ever week of the year

enough for there to be
way too many choices

I didn’t buy any gum today at Wal-Mart
instead, I went home
sat on my stoop
and smoked a cigarette