A POEM - ADVICE TO THE GREEN REGARDING UNEMPLOYMENT

ADVICE TO THE GREEN REGARDING UNEMPLOYMENT
He came to me for advice
about remaining unemployed.
I had a knack for it
and he knew I’d have something good.
“sir, I really don’t wanna get a job,” he complained.
“I mean, I need to work and make some money,
but I really don’t wanna work.”
I smiled back at him, said,
“I know what you mean.”
He looked around nervously,
then turned back to me.
“but I’ve got this interview. I already spoke
with the guy on the phone. I know
he’ll offer me the job. But I don’t know
what to do, to not get it.”
I thought for a few moments,
then grinned wisely.
“you could always use the old
shit on your hand shake.”
“the what?” he asked, curious.
“sure, when you go into the interview
to shake hands with the bastard,
have a noticeable smudge of
shit on your hands. It works every time.”
The young man shook his head.
“I don’t know where you learn your tricks, Mr. Tom,
but you certainly have them up your sleeve!”