MORE FOR MY MONEY

more for my money
let’s get this straight
right now: I do not enjoy
my free refill.
I’m not a big coffee drinker
and one cup is enough
almost too much
but when I go back
for my free refill
and start in on it
I begin to feel sick
as though I’m going to throw up
but still I choke it down
as much as I can take
because I want to get more
for my money
by drinking my free refill
I get two cups of coffee
for just under two dollars
which brings each cup
to cost a buck
the exact amount I feel
that a cup of coffee should cost

SERVICE

service
given a platform to express themselves
people will eventually start to complain
there’s a new section
in the online version of our local paper
where readers can give reviews
and it’s become very clear
that some of the locals around my city
are not happy with the service
at a certain major coffee shop
one complains that the service is not delivered
with a smile
and another muses, “it seems the baristas
would be happier chatting amongst themselves
than making me a latte.”
my favorite was this:
“it’s as if the staff there don’t love their jobs.”
what I’d like to know about these people
these reviewers
is where the hell they came from
and if they don’t like the way things are going
around here
why the hell they don’t go back?
I find the service at this particular corner coffee shop
to be exceptionally acceptable
and without being a cocksucker
that’s all you can really expect from people
who have no reason to love their jobs

OUR SECRET

our secret
when I brought her home
the first thing she said
was, “you have no sheets
on your bed!”
as though I didn’t already know!
“they’re in the wash!” I laughed
and they really were
or maybe it was the dryer
nothing matters after midnight
“let’s drink the tequila!” I shouted
so we drank the tequila
and jumped into bed
my bed with no sheets
and in the morning
after asking for a pledge of secrecy
she took a cab home
later in the day she texted me,
I just threw up at work. Thnx 4 a fun night!
I smiled and thought,
what a babe! I hope we can do it again
sometime!

THE BIG CONCERN

the big concern
it’s a big concern
in a certain neighborhood
where I walk a dog
when the household cat
does not come along
the neighbors come out
and give me nervous looks
and ask things like,
“but where is the cat?”
or, “oh, no! Is the cat okay?”
or, “nothing happened to the cat, right?
There’s usually a cat that follows you.”
but the truth is
the cat really just does whatever
she wants.
on some days she comes along
and some days she doesn’t
and most days
she pops up for a little bit here
a little bit there
just coming and going
and doing her thing
just as she damn well pleases
and for that I’m jealous of her
because I, too
would like to come and go
and do my thing
just as I damn well please

DOLLAR PLAN DREAM

dollar plan dream
I just bought a bagel
and a cup of coffee
came to $4.10
about two dollars more
than it should have been
see, I’m on this dollar system dream
where everything is only a buck
I’d be willing and happy
to spend a dollar on anything
a bagel, a coffee, a beer
a shot of whiskey, fuck it!
I can only imagine
the life I could live
if everything was just a buck

or rather
the life I could have lived
before my mechanic
called me up this morning
and said the work on my jeep
would cost over eight hundred dollars
leaving me just enough money
to sit here on my ass
in my room
for another week
eating a bagel a day
drinking nothing
and wondering where it all went wrong

THE CHAIR

the chair
I have this chair
I bought at GOODWILL
for $5.99
it’s an old rocking chair
with a wicker seat
and no armrests
it rests in the corner of my room
usually supporting a few dirty shirts
or a pair of jeans
with the belt still through the loops
it’s one of my favorite belongings
this old rocking chair
and sometimes I lie in bed
and gaze at it
think about the places it might have been
the asses it might have rocked
the chair itself
seems to hold some wisdom
like it’s been around for long enough
to have overheard some secrets
then just the other day
while lying in bed
and feeling like I knew nothing
nothing at all
about myself
or the world around me
I realized that since I’d bought that chair
I’d never actually sat down in it
and I considered that maybe
if I sat in that chair
I could absorb some sort of wisdom
gain some knowledge
or have a revelation
but instead of getting up
I remained in bed
because it was comfortable
and I was warm
and because I’ve already learned
a thousand times
that ignorance really can be bliss

NO MA'AM

no ma’am
she was middle aged
with brown skin and black hair
and by her looks
she’d never gone hungry
she sat on the curb
smoking a cigarette
as I walked by with a dog
“cute dog,” she said
reaching out her hand to pet it
the dog, Sal
sniffed her and stood there
kind of not knowing what to do
that was how she was with strangers
“I’m not from around here,” the lady said
and the way she said it
I could tell she was waiting on
a lot more than a bus ride
she took a drag and looked away
blue out a nice, big lungful of smoke
watched it disappear
and said, “but then, none of us
asked to be brought here, right?
Nobody wanted to come into this world.”
I smiled back at here
and gave a little tug on the leash
and before walking away said,
“no, ma’am. I guess not.”