UNBREAKABLE

unbreakable
for seven years now
I have had a little black comb
one of those little black combs
that has molded on one side
the word UNBREAKABLE
for seven years
I have used it daily
and doubted the truth in that claim
tonight I picked up the comb
and with a simple, easy motion
broke it in half.
I put the two pieces
back down on my desk
and with my head in my hands
stared at them for nearly a minute
finally, I looked up at the ceiling
and shouted at the top of my lungs,
“is it all a goddamn lie?”

RADISHES

radishes
before she went to sleep
last night
my housemate’s radishes
were in the fridge
yet when she got up
in the morning
they were lying on the counter.
our other housemate
is out of town
which leaves only me
as the culprit
can you explain
why I would do such a thing?
such a meaningless
absurd and odd thing?
to come home late at night
lock the door
leave my shoes neatly
in the entryway
tip toe around the house
as to not wake anybody
brush my teeth
drink a glass of water
and finally take out the radishes
and leave them on the counter?

GRASS

grass
pull the curtains shut
open the drawer
and pack the pipe
when you’re not out there
hittin’ it hard
you’re in here
taking it easy
greezy
pumpkin peezy
and the thoughts you have
and the fingers you use
to peck at the keys
slowwwww
wayyyyy
dowwwwnnnn

THE BEAST

the beast
the thing is a goddamn wolf
with hairy, black balls
the size of grapefruits
that swing between its legs
as its owner walks him
on a thick rope
around our little city
to remind the general populace
that machismo
however strangled
and so frequently shunned
is not yet dead.
you should see the people
run out of the way
when they notice this thing
approaching
or watch them jump with terror
when the owner
leaves him in his car
to bark at passing strangers.
just the sight of this beast
makes you ponder dragons
and warlocks and medieval curses
and on a cold, rainy day in October
with a running nose
and an exhaustion upon you
like a steel blanket
and your home bar
not yet open
what else is there to do?

HEAVEN AND HELL

here in heaven and hell
there was to be flooding
in the northeast
and strong winds and fire
in the great basin
the snow storms
were to hit the mountain ridges
of the west
and a tornado warning
was given for much of the south.
160 people had been killed
in a car bomb in Baghdad
60 of them young school children
while 8 soldiers had just been
blown apart by a roadside bomb
in Afghanistan
a fifteen year old girl
at her homecoming dance in California
had been gang raped for two hours
while a dozen people stood and watched
and the Dow was up eight points
that was the brief bit of news I watched
on CNN this morning
before going out to walk dogs
and try to stay dry
despite the rain

LEGAL LIMIT

legal limit
every weekday
I go into the Pizza Factory
get two slices of cheese pizza
and either a Dr. Pepper
or a Cherry Coke
and when the need arises
which it often does
I walk over to the liquor store
grab a handle of bourbon
and pay whatever it costs
which always is one cent
less than an even dollar.
and what is a penny these days,
unless many are acquired
regularly and steadily
and that’s just what MADD is doing
with their little plastic canisters
at the checkout
and every time I buy
a handle of bourbon
I reach over to put my penny in
thinking it’s for a charity to feed the hungry
or clothe the naked
but at the last minute
see that it supports an organization
that has long since become more
than mothers concerned about drunk driving
and is rather run by wild teetotalers
who would prohibit all alcohol consumption
if given the chance
and I turn and walk out the door
and throw my penny into the nearest gutter
before getting into my jeep
and driving home
still wildly hungover
and possibly still over the legal limit
for all I know

BIRDS

birds
another thing
I’d like to know about
the birds
is where they go
when it rains